All everyone wants is to be loved. That’s why we spend most of our lives searching for that person that “completes” us. In that search, we experience some good relationships and we also experience some not so good relationships. In either case, the hope is that we learn something from the experience. However, what we can never get the hang of is dealing with a breakup once the relationship has run its course. Lately I’ve been thinking if developing a relationship with someone (romantic or platonic)  worth it if in the end you get left with an empty lonely feeling inside?

People get into relationships always hoping that relationship will be the “one”. They put all their dreams and hopes into that one person that they never stop to think about it ever ending until it actually does.

I have a friend who is currently going through a break up  and because she has her own ideal for what her life should be it’s very difficult for her to accept the break up. Heartbreaks are never easy and when the person that you want to be with no longer wants to be with you it leaves you feeling sad, lonely and confused.  Hence, I find myself at a loss for words when trying to give her words of encouragement.

It has been said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I’m not really sure how I feel about that statement, primarily because you can’t miss what you’ve never had. In my opinion, once you’ve had love (in any form, whether romantic or from a friend) and then lose it, it hurts, plain and simple. I think most of you would agree with that. When in a relationship one gets used to the daily routine of the relationship. You develop a closeness with that person that you’ve come to expect and rely on. But what is not expected is how one day you can feel totally connected to someone and the very next day feel like total strangers. One minute you can’t get enough of each other and the next you find yourself questioning if  that connection was even real. There are no more daily 4 hr. long phone conversations, no daily bbm’s, no more smiley faces at the end of each sentence. Instead the phone calls have ceased and bbm’s now come few and far between. And when they do come they seem impersonal and not at all representative of the closeness that was once there.

You start to play everything back in your head to see if you can pinpoint the very moment when things changed…nothing seems to come to mind so you ask the other individual hoping that they can shed some light to the situation but they say that nothing has changed despite the fact that their actions say other wise. You haven’t changed in your actions but you also know that you’re not crazy because something has changed. The problem is that you don’t know what exactly. Was it all an illusion? Was it simply a mirage?  Did you just imagine it? These questions begin to haunt you because all you want to know is what happened? But sometimes you’ll never know the answer to those questions so it’s probably best to forget and move on from the relationship even if in your mind the relationship was one of the best you’ve ever had.

I’ve learned that one-way relationships/friendships never work so it’s not worth investing anymore time into them.  The reality is that relationships end. Pining over what and how it went wrong is a waste of time and only prolongs you from moving on and embracing your true happiness. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, screw it. It’s their loss. When a relationship comes to an end it should serve as a reminder that there’s something better in store for you. They say that every ending is a new beginning, so instead of staring at the door that has just closed look to the door that has just opened and don’t be afraid to walk through it. You may just find the happiness that you’ve been looking for all along. 

How do you guys feel? I’m interested to hear what you think.