I Know Why People Cheat

Well, I really don’t know why people cheat but I thought it was a catchy title and a good way to get you to read this post so now that I got you here I’ll tell you why I think people cheat.

I realize that life, for the most part is a series of decisions and the decisions that we make, in one way or another, form our experiences and in essence creates our lives. It kind of reminds me of that Charles Dickens story “A Christmas Carol”. The main character, Ebenezer Scrooge, is visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future and he sees how certain decisions and actions in his past and present will affect his future. In the story, he is transported back in time to see the error of his ways and is given the opportunity to make changes in his life so that his future doesn’t end up bleak, sad, and lonely.

Real life however, doesn’t work this way. If we had a chance to see how today’s decision would affect our future, would we still make the same choices? I’m not sure, maybe some of us would and maybe some of us wouldn’t. What I do know, is that whatever the decision if we knew in advance the consequence we would probably think twice.

I think that for the most part, individuals are curious beings and by nature always think that there is something better, greater, more exciting than what they have in their present situation. Sometimes there is but sometimes there isn’t and in search of this greener pasture is why so many people cheat. Well it’s one of  the reasons people cheat.

People cheat for many other reasons too. Some cheat because they like the excitement that a new encounter brings. Others cheat because they are lacking some emotional or spiritual connection with their significant other. We see it all the time in the media, hear about it on the radio, know someone personally that has been cheated on or have experienced or personally been a victim to cheating.

While many arguments can be made about why people cheat there are 3 main reasons why I believe that people cheat, first is that they’re afraid of the truth. Oscar Wilde said “The truth is rarely pure and never simple” and that is very true. The hardest thing to do is to accept or hear the truth. Accepting the truth means that you are validating whatever feelings, concerns, or worries you have regarding your relationship and sometimes that truth may very well be that the relationship has run its course. Or the truth can be that one or both individuals are not being sexually, emotionally, or spiritually satisfied. But rather than face the truth and deal with the issue at hand some people tend to take the easy way out and seek out what they are missing in someone else. Hence, never addressing or repairing what is broken in their relationship.

People are also afraid of what the truth may do to their current reality. Some individuals are comfortable with their lives and may not be ready to deal with anything that will make them have to start all over again. What these people don’t realize is that in essence they are living a lie and are depriving themselves of real happiness just because they’re afraid to face the truth.

When there is something lacking in a relationship it leaves an empty void in the person and the minute another person begins to pay attention to the need that is missing that is when there is a possibility for cheating.  This leads into the second reason I believe people cheat, opportunity.

Relationships are not easy and in fact good ones take a lot of work. The problem is that with the daily pressures of life sometimes couples don’t pay as much attention to their relationships as they should. This is a problem because as soon as you stop paying attention someone else will. When an opportunity comes along to talk with someone about our problems we usually do. This doesn’t always lead to cheating but it is the gateway and if the relationship is experiencing a lot of turmoil it doesn’t take much to walk through that door. This is not fair to either individual in the relationship because the cheater is now adding more problems to an already troubled relationship. Moreover, they are also adding a third party to the relationship which only further complicates things.

Lastly, the third reason I think people cheat is because of unhappiness. Relationships are built on love, and sometimes two people forget to communicate causing unhappiness. All relationships have problems. But maintaining the lines of communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. Many people forget to talk or don’t make talking an important part of their relationship. What they fail to realize is that the minute you stop talking is the very minute that your relationship begins to get in trouble. You have to be able to express your feelings to your partner if there is any hope for a successful relationship. Don’t let someone else be their shoulder to lean on.

Cheating in my opinion is the coward’s way of trying to fulfill a need that is missing. It’s easy to cheat. It’s much harder to work through your problems in a relationship. However, sometimes there comes a time when a relationship is irreparable. I do realize that not all relationships are salvageable but in those situations cheating is not the answer either. Instead both individuals need to come to the realization that the relationship is over and move on with dignity and respect.

I realize that no relationship is perfect and all relationships take hard work but if you pay attention to your partner and ensure that all their needs are being met there will be no opportunity for cheating or nor desire to cheat. Just remember to keep those lines of communication open.

I gave the reasons why I think people cheat. Why do you think people cheat?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s