“Live On Purpose” Challenge Day 6: Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. ~ Buddha When it comes to following our dreams and doing the things we’re most passionate about we can be our own worst enemy. We fill our brains with negative self talk so much that we eventually begin to believe it. We begin to believe that we’re not worthy enough, we’re … Continue reading “Live On Purpose” Challenge Day 6: Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy


*The following was originally published on The Manifest Station. NOVEMBER 17, 2015 By Nancy Arroyo Ruffin The first time I remember experiencing death I was three years old. My uncle Louie lay in a casket at the Ortiz Funeral Home wearing a light colored suit; it could’ve been white, beige maybe. His afro was neatly picked and in my three year old mind he appeared … Continue reading ABOVE THE HIGH: COPING WITH ADDICTION AND DEATH

Struggling with identity: On the lies we tell and how we deal

I knew back then that Georgie was not going to grow up to be like the other boys. Georgie was different. Not because of anything he said, but because of how he acted and how delicately he carried himself. At 11 years old he was already in touch with the femininity that I wouldn’t embrace until I was 18. A self-proclaimed tomboy, I was tough and rough. I never felt the need to be glamorous or cute. Unlike my sister, who has always been very girly, my scrawny body would not be caught dead in a skirt or dress or shoes. I avoided them the way my toddler avoids the bath. I preferred jeans and Jordans. I enjoyed playing wiffle-ball and touch football, and manhunt. I was everything Georgie was not. While I could call myself a tomboy there wasn’t a word that I could use to describe Georgie. Continue reading Struggling with identity: On the lies we tell and how we deal

On Bill Cosby, Rape, and why some men just don’t get it

The other day as I was preparing dinner I asked my husband what he thought about the recent rape allegations that have resurfaced about Bill Cosby. His response was eerily similar to the responses I have heard come from other men.

“If these women were raped why are they talking about it now? Why did they wait so long to come forward?” he said.

“Is that really your response?”, I replied. “What if it was your daughter, who years after being raped or assaulted broke her silence and finally decided to talk about what happened to her, would you still have the same response? Does the length of time it takes a person to break their silence make their claims invalid?” He remained quiet. Continue reading On Bill Cosby, Rape, and why some men just don’t get it

How Cancer Saved My Marriage

Music lyrics often talk about how great love is and it is great, most of the time. Sometimes external influences will blind us into believing that if our relationships aren’t like those detailed in the songs or movies then it isn’t love. No one ever tells you that you can fall in and out of love with the same person, or that romance is something you have to work at every single day of your marriage. The stresses of everyday life can become burdensome on a relationship and when there’s bills to pay, children to take care of, and work to do it can leave you feeling exhausted, unappreciated, and even resentful causing one to feel as if they want out of that loving relationship they were once in. Continue reading How Cancer Saved My Marriage

One thing I know for sure, marriage is hard!

Everyone warns you that marriage isn’t easy, but when you’re in the romantic stage of love that’s the farthest thing from your mind. You’re not thinking about how he calls his mother two to three times a day to “check in” which at the time you think is cute, but will make you turn into a raging lunatic reminiscent of the Exorcist foaming at the mouth and head spinning, five years down the road. Or how your ambitious go-getter attitude and dedicated work ethic that he initially found so sexy turns into resentment and jealousy later on. Or how opening a joint bank account turns into the Spanish Inquisition whenever you spend or withdraw money. There are so many things that factor into a marriage, many of which you have no clue about until you are in the throes of it. Continue reading One thing I know for sure, marriage is hard!

Are You Giving Too Much Too Soon?

  I came across the following article while I was doing some research and surfing the internet and I thought that it made some very valid points. When it comes to relationships we often let the chemicals in our brain take over our better judgment, especially when the relationship is new. Most of us are in love with the idea of  being “in love” and because of … Continue reading Are You Giving Too Much Too Soon?

The 4 Key Elements to a Successful Marriage

There’s something about being with someone that makes us feel complete. This is why most of us spend our lives searching for “the one”. However, once you’ve found the one how do you make sure the marriage lasts so that you don’t end up another statistic? Every relationship is different and there’s not a one size fits all approach for having a successful marriage, after … Continue reading The 4 Key Elements to a Successful Marriage

Fall in Love With You…

“i found god in myself and i loved her. i loved her fiercely.”  – Ntozake Shange Most of us spend a great deal of our lives looking for love, chasing love, recuperating from love or complaining about love. Never realizing that in our quest for love we are neglecting the person that matters most.  Ourselves. I believe that as women we often disregard our own needs as a … Continue reading Fall in Love With You…