Bad Sex: Can It Ruin A Relationship?

unhappy-couple-in-bed1Lately I’ve been thinking about what makes a good relationship. We all want our own version of Mr./Ms. Right and this person may have different qualities depending on who you ask. Perfection is subjective and therefore what may seem perfect to one individual may not be so perfect for someone else. Some individuals value looks, some prefer a great sense of humor, others look deeper into the soul of a person and value honesty, integrity, and loyalty.

While all of these are great qualities for any person to posess, relationships in general are hard and they take alot of work. But given the daily pressures of everyday life do we really want to be in a relationship where our physical needs aren’t being met?  Most of us spend a great deal of our lives trying to find that special someone to share our lives with or at the least cuddle up to at night. We all want to feel loved not only mentally but physically and anyone who tells you that sex isn’t that important in a relationship is either lieing or has never experienced what amazing, mind blowing, sex is like. Once you’ve had this type of sex it’s hard not to continue wanting it. You just can’t go back to accepting wack sex. It’s not possible because you know what you’re missing. When you’ve never had great sex it’s easier to deal with because you can’t miss what you’ve never had.

Personally, I believe the older one gets the more compromises they are willing to make for their happiness. Meaning, that we start to weigh the pros and cons of every situation. For example, let’s say your in a relationship and for the most part the person that you’re involved with is a great person. They’re financially stable, they’re able to provide a nice comfortable lifestlye for you, they’re educated, well-spoken,  and well put together. Basically, they have a lot of the qualities that one looks for in a partner. These qualities may lead to you to start making excuses for the bad qualities that they have. Like, they’re insecure, jealous, possesive, and worst of all they have no clue what to do when it comes to sex. But because you’re older and stability has now become a really important factor in your life you start re-evaluating  and focusing on the good qualities in order to make up for what they are lacking. Again, happiness is subjective and it varies from person to person.

People that do this, in my opinion, will eventually deprive themselves of true complete happiness. I totally understand that to have it “all” is impossible but there has to be an even balance between the good and bad. Sex is one of those factors that is on the top of the list of a good and healthy relationship. When people cheat, 9 times out of ten it’s because they are missing that spark in their own relationship and are seeking it out in someone else. Once the sex has gone bad in a relationship I believe that it is the beginning of the end for that relationship. And if you’re with a partner that is only focused on fulfilling his/her needs then the problem becomes worse because that person has already emotionally checked out on fulfilling your needs. They no longer care about pleasing you, it has become all about them and their needs. I guess what I want to know is do you deal with bad sex, try to fix it, or just give up completely and break it off?

One thought on “Bad Sex: Can It Ruin A Relationship?

  1. It’s like you said, sex is a big part of any relationship but I wouldn’t say that it would break an otherwise good relationship. However, if there are other problems in the relationship in addition to the bad sex then I would think that both individuals need to re-evaluate the situation and decide whether the relationship is even worth salvaging. In either case, I would say that it depends on the individual relationship as to whether someone decides to deal or leave.


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