Most of us, if we’re lucky have a great circle of friends. Some of us have the same friends we had during childhood while others establish life long friendships later on in life. Whatever the circumstance, one fact remains true, and that is the need to connect and bond with another individual that completely gets and understands you.
Unlike family, who for the most part have to love and put up with you, friends choose to be a part of your life. Friends like you regardless of your faults and shortcomings. They are always ready to listen to you and tell you the truth and they support your decisions even when they may not agree. Friends are there to tell you when you’re being irrational and they’re there to laugh with you and share your grief. They are the people who aren’t afraid of telling you when they think you’ve done something stupid but they’re also there to praise you when you do things right. Friendships are a two-way street and like any other relationship, it’s give and take. Friends have to be able to count on each other and also appreciate one another.
I have had several good friends in my lifetime, some were so close that they crossed the line from being friends to being family. These are people that spend holidays with me, that go on family vacations, they know every member of my family and fit right in. They are the individuals that I would really go all out of my way for just like I would for my sister or any other family member. In my eyes, these relationships are so solid that they are impenetrable. Meaning that there’s nothing or no one that can come in between the friendship because it’s so tight.
It’s the type of relationship that no matter how angry you may get at each other, you know you will always be there for each other. These types of friendships takes years to build. It takes years of trust, honesty, and commitment from both parties. It takes bucketfuls of tears, plenty of broken hearts, fights, arguments, and numerous ups and downs to know that you can count on that person through thick and thin. Like I said, I’m lucky to have friends like this in my life.
What I love most about my friends (my true friends) is that they know me, they really know me, and because of that they accept me for who I am. I can at times be bitchy, nasty, and rude BUT I am also loyal, dependable, honest, and if they need me all they have to do is call, even if we’ve just had the biggest fight of our lives I’ll be there.
In my circle of friends at one point or another we’ve all talked about each other (but not in a bad way). I have to stress the “not in a bad way” because people will automatically perceive talking about your friends as something tabu. In my clique, we are all like this and are aware of it. That’s why it’s no big deal if my sister and my aunt talk about me when I’m not around or if a friend and myself talk about or comment on another friend of ours. Usually what is said is something that we’ve already said to the “other” friend. I don’t say anything that I haven’t already said to someone’s face.
Some people may feel that this constitutes as “talking behind someone’s back” but to me if I’ve already told you to your face and the person that I may be repeating it to is in our “cirlce” of friends it really shouldn’t be a big deal. It may be something like “Sarah is so lucky, she has a really great guy. I would love to be taken care of like she is” or “I’m happy that she finally has put her priorities in order”. Neither or those comments, in my opinion, are harmful or malicious. However, not everyone may agree with me.
Regardless of what true friendship means to you (because it may be different for everyone), to me, true friendship is knowing that no matter what happens I can count on you and you can count on me. And if I do or say something that is hurtful or offends you then as friends we should be able to talk about it. If you can just let years of friendship go over one mistake then it really wasn’t a true friendship to begin with. As women, we can forgive a lover, a boyfriend, or spouse, that constantly hurts us but we’re not as easily forgiving of our friends.
Why is it that some women can forgive a boyfriend for cheating (for example) but just as easily throw their lifelong friendships away? Is something not right with this picture or is it just me?