Everyday I wake up and think about what that day will bring. Some days are good and some days are bad, I’m human, so that’s to be expected. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about relationships, good relationships, bad relationships, so-so relationships, relationships in general. And this is what I’ve been thinking about, “Is developing a relationship with someone (romantic or platonic) worth it if in the end you get left with an empty lonely feeling inside?” I know someone who is currently going through a break up and because she has her own ideal for what her life should be it’s very difficult for her to accept the break up. I have never personally gone through a breakup or had my heart broken so I find myself at a loss for words when trying to give her words of encouragement.
It has been said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I’m not really sure how I feel about that statement, primarily because you can’t miss what you’ve never had. So for me I’d rather never have loved. In my opinion, once you’ve had love (in any form, whether romantic or from a friend) and then lose it, it hurts, plain and simple. You get used to the daily routine of the relationship. You develop a closeness with that person that you’ve come to expect and rely on. But what is not expected is how one day you can feel totally connected to someone and the very next day feel like total strangers. One minute you can’t get enough of each other and the next you find yourself questioning if that connection was even real. There are no more daily 4 hr. long phone conversations, no daily bbm’s, no more smiley faces at the end of each sentence. Instead the phone calls have ceased and bbm’s now come few and far between. And when they do come they seem impersonal and not at all representative of the closeness that was once there.
You start to play everything back in your head to see if you can pinpoint the very moment when things changed…nothing seems to come to mind so you ask the other individual hoping that they can shed some light to the situation but they say that nothing has changed despite the fact that their actions say other wise. You haven’t changed in your actions but you also know that you’re not crazy because something has changed. The problem is that you don’t know what exactly. Was it all an illusion? Was it simply a mirage? Did you just imagine it? These questions begin to haunt you because all you want to know is what happened? But sometimes you’ll never know the answer to those questions so it’s probably best to forget and move on from the relationship even if in your mind the relationship was one of the best you’ve ever had.
I’ve learned that one-way relationships/friendships never work so it’s not worth investing anymore time into them. So when asked “If only for a minute…would it be worth it?” how would you respond? Would it be worth it to you? Or would you feel like there’s no point in starting something that only leaves you sad and hurt in the end.
How do you guys feel? I’m interested to hear what you think.
nancy arroyo ruffin 
Yes, I think if only for a minute it’s worth it. Maybe because I’m the type of person who likes to meet new people and hope that I will learn something from that person. Though you may be friends with someone today and not the next, you may also gain something from that person that might make you a better person. Life is a journey and while on my journey I want to experience many things and meet new people and sad to say many of the people you meet and even love might just be for a short time, but I do believe it is worth it. When losing a friendship, things may seem so bad, but it will soon get better and it will became an experience you’ve had and overcame. I thank all those who have been in my life regardless of where we stand today and look forward to meeting new people. I’ve also concluded that the reason I like to meet new people or sometime loose friendships is because my needs, wants and interest have changed as well. We all set standards for ourselvves, therefore there will be many reason why people will stay friends with someone or let go of it. Atleast this is what I can say about friendships coming and going, because just like you Nancy I’ve loved my husband since JHS and here we are today married with three kids and a dog and cat:) and becaue we’ve grown up together it had been the craziest roller coaster ever, but we held on even when it went upside down and even when one of us felt like just letting go, one of us will hold the other, because in our hearts of hearts our love and freindship was worth that crazy ride.
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Cindy, what a great comment. I guess you’re right, every person we meet does teach us something. Sometimes it’s just hard letting go someone that you love but you have a good point. Although, it may hurt initially you eventually get over the pain of losing them. Thank you for the comment.
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I guess I can understand your point, Mystera. I think that with time one can learn to appreciate even a bad situation. As you said, it is those experiences that make us who we are. However, the loss of a relationship whether it is of the romantic nature or a friendship is always hard but time does heal all wounds so maybe I may have to re-think my answer. Thank you for your comment and for making me see another point of view 🙂
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Every experience in life is a learning experience…so my answer is YES, if only for a minute it is DEFINITELY worth it. These are the things that mold people into who they are…however, it is one’s decision to make each either positive or negative (is the glass half full or half empty). EG – what do you think would’ve happened if you gave up the first time you fell when learning to walk or ride a bike?
Some relationships are good and some are bad, it is up to each individual to decide whether they choose to remain in a safe/comfortable situation out of fear or take the chance for the unknown.
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