As Father’s Day approaches, I wanted to take the time to acknowledge all of the wonderful men that not only planted the seed of life but who also have committed to nurturing and raising their creation. I don’t think good fathers get enough credit so I want to give credit where credit is due. I originally posted this article back in October 2009 as a tribute to my dad but I think this can apply to all great fathers. To all the men that are an unconditional part of their children’s lives this is for you. Enjoy!!!!
I’ll admit it I’m a daddy’s girl. Always have been, and always will be. In my eyes there’s no better man in the world than my daddy. All daughters should feel this way but the reality is that not all men are as great a dad as mine is.
They say that any man can father a child but not every man can be a father to a child. Some men either aren’t strong enough to be a father, got involved with an emotionally unstable woman that won’t allow them to be a part of the child’s life or they are just complete selfish losers that care about nothing but themselves. The latter type of men disgust me and should be stripped of their ability to even create a child (yes, just cut their b*lls off). I apologize for being so vulgar but if a man can not own up to their responsibilities then they don’t deserve to be able to create another life. But whatever the reason a man has for not being a part of their child’s life, the one thing that is clear is that as a result, their will always be a void in that child’s life.
Creating a child is the greatest miracle and blessing that could ever happen to any individual. There is nothing better than creating an extension of you and nurturing and caring for that other being. Your children inevitably become a part of your legacy. Yet there are many single mothers out there raising children on their own and thousands of children with no male role model to look up to. Children without fathers tend to feel abandoned and often wonder “why didn’t my daddy want me”? How does one even begin to answer that question to a child. I guess you can never really answer that question. Luckily for me my dad has always been there.
I have been incredibly blessed to have my father in my life. The bond between a father and a daughter is unique. For a little girl, the relationship that she forms with her dad pretty much represents the types of relationship that she will have with men in the future. My dad was the very first man I ever loved and the first man to ever love me. He showed me what being loved by a man should feel and look like, not just by loving me but by the way that he loves my mother. My dad has always given all that he has to make sure that my mom, sister and I got everything that we ever wanted and needed.
Ever since I was a little girl there was never a time that my dad wasn’t there. Not one. I remember him working 6 days a week and on his 1 day off he would pick my sister and I up from school and take us and our friends for an afternoon lunch at McDonald’s on Greenpoint Ave. A lunch a McDonald’s doesn’t sound like much but it wasn’t the lunch itself that meant so much to me but rather the time that he set aside just to be with his “girls” is what mattered to me. It’s always the small things that make the biggest impact.
I remember him being front row center at every talent, christmas, valentine, or other holiday show we had at P.S. 16 with his video camera ready to record his “little girls” performances. Those shows were often long and boring but he never missed one. He was always there.
I remember him coming home from work after a long day at work (at that time he worked in retail and often worked 12 hour days) and helping me with my homework because my mom didn’t have a clue. I remember getting all 90’s and one 75 on my report card one year and him punishing me for getting the 75 instead of rewarding me for all of my 90’s. I didn’t understand it then but now I realize he only wanted me to do my best and he thought that I could do better than a 75. However, as time passed we would find out that in Math by best IS about a 75% 🙂
I remember the day he and my mom came home and told us that they’d bought us a house in Queens so that my sister and I could have a better standard of living. I remember him picking me up from night school 4 nights a week because he didn’t want me taking the train home at night alone. All these things and more showed me that my sister and I were the most important things in his life. Our happiness and safety has always been his top priority. And this is why I have always strived to make him proud of me.
I look back to the day that I got married and I know that for him it was the happiest and saddest day of his life. The happiest because he was giving me away to a man that loved me just as he did; a man that would care and provide for me just as he did. But it was also the saddest because on that day his “little girl” had finally become a woman. I would be leaving his home and creating a home of my own and now that I am older I know that the woman I am is a direct result of his love for me.
He taught me to be a strong and independent woman. I am motivated, focused, and goal oriented because of him. I believe in myself even if no one else does. He taught me to never depend on a man for anything and I don’t. I have my own career and am an equal contributor to my household. He stressed the importance of school and education and so I went on to earn a Master’s Degree. He always said that education was the one thing that no one can ever take from you and he was right.
I feel that I owe my dad the world. And while I know he would say that I don’t owe him anything, I do. I owe him my life for if it wasn’t for him I’m sure that I could just as easily been another little girl lost. And for what I have become I could never thank him enough.
For those of you that have fathers as amazing as mine make sure to love and appreciate them while he is here. When they say life is short, it really is. No one is promised tomorrow so don’t save saying “I love you” for tomorrow when you can say it today. For those of you that may not have had your father in your life don’t let that stop you from being the best parents you can be to your children because in the end that’s all you really have. And for all those men who are fathers, remember that being a great father isn’t only about financially taking care of the child but it’s about actually being a part of that child’s life.
Children don’t remember the money you spend on them they remember the time that you spend. So make time for your kids, it will be the best reward for you and for them. Happy Father’s Day.♥