We all have habits that are not good or down right unhealthy for us. Some habits have become so bad that they can actually be called addiction, there’s smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, etc. We all have seen or know someone that has battled or is battling these addictions. However, some bad habits may not be as serious as the aforementioned but nonetheless can still be harmful to our well being.
A bad habit can involve the way we dress, act, think, shop,talk, relate to people, even how we act in relationships. Not too many people pay much attention to how they act in relationships but if you’re not aware of your actions you can fall into creating bad habits that are unhealthy for you and the relationship. A bad habit grows like the fastest weed and can become a chain reaction if we don’t nip it in the bud.
Those sneaky negative behavior patterns that insinuate their way into our lives, seemingly behind our backs, are like those pesky ‘mogwai’ creatures in the movie Gremlins. Remember them? Ever so cute to start with, but break the handling rules and they’ll run amok in your life. And it feels like there’s nothing you can do about it.
The same can be said of how we act in relationships. Constantly bickering or intentionally saying things to your partner that you know will upset them just to get a reaction out of them, while at first may seem cute and innocent and in your eyes merely a “test” to see if they really care, can eventually become the catalyst to the end of the relationship. Or constantly breaking up just to see how far your partner will go to get you back after awhile can and will become emotionally and mentally exhausting. This is not healthy. Some individuals are so accustomed to drama in their relationships that even when there isn’t any subconsciously create it. This is a bad habit.
Going back to a relationship that you know is dysfunctional and not good for you is also a bad habit. Chaos and dysfunction are not part of a healthy relationship and you have to be able to remove yourself from those types of relationships. That’s why being conscious of your behaviours is a necessary first step. You can’t get rid of your bad habits if you don’t know that you have them– it’s not enough, in real life, to destroy them.
The difficulty you encounter when you first try to break bad habits is that habits (like the mogwai/gremlins) just don’t respond to orders. You summon your willpower, you tell yourself firmly not to do it, and even feel sure you won’t do it…and then you find that you’ve done it again, anyway. It seems you just can’t win a straight out battle with habits. And many people give up at that point and say “I just can’t help it!” But the reality is that the strength of the human will and spirit can conquer anything. You just have to want it bad enough.
In relationships just as in life success comes to those who work at it. If there is something that you are or aren’t doing only you can change it. If you find yourself in a relationship that is constantly making you feel like enough is enough then it probably is. Relationships are not easy, they do require work BUT both individuals should be giving the same amount of themselves to make it work. Relationships that are 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 will never succeed. Remember that!