Literary and cultural movements are often borne as a response to what is occurring in the world around us. Literature and the arts in general are constantly evolving as new movements emerge and speak to the concerns of different groups of people and time periods. Often, our political and social landscape influences art, but most specifically it influences the artist. For the artist the art … Continue reading On Race, Injustice, and Literary Movements
The other day as I was preparing dinner I asked my husband what he thought about the recent rape allegations that have resurfaced about Bill Cosby. His response was eerily similar to the responses I have heard come from other men.
“If these women were raped why are they talking about it now? Why did they wait so long to come forward?” he said.
“Is that really your response?”, I replied. “What if it was your daughter, who years after being raped or assaulted broke her silence and finally decided to talk about what happened to her, would you still have the same response? Does the length of time it takes a person to break their silence make their claims invalid?” He remained quiet. Continue reading On Bill Cosby, Rape, and why some men just don’t get it
Music lyrics often talk about how great love is and it is great, most of the time. Sometimes external influences will blind us into believing that if our relationships aren’t like those detailed in the songs or movies then it isn’t love. No one ever tells you that you can fall in and out of love with the same person, or that romance is something you have to work at every single day of your marriage. The stresses of everyday life can become burdensome on a relationship and when there’s bills to pay, children to take care of, and work to do it can leave you feeling exhausted, unappreciated, and even resentful causing one to feel as if they want out of that loving relationship they were once in. Continue reading How Cancer Saved My Marriage
Everyone warns you that marriage isn’t easy, but when you’re in the romantic stage of love that’s the farthest thing from your mind. You’re not thinking about how he calls his mother two to three times a day to “check in” which at the time you think is cute, but will make you turn into a raging lunatic reminiscent of the Exorcist foaming at the mouth and head spinning, five years down the road. Or how your ambitious go-getter attitude and dedicated work ethic that he initially found so sexy turns into resentment and jealousy later on. Or how opening a joint bank account turns into the Spanish Inquisition whenever you spend or withdraw money. There are so many things that factor into a marriage, many of which you have no clue about until you are in the throes of it. Continue reading One thing I know for sure, marriage is hard!
I’d wake from my sleep and find her in her room standing in her crib, eyes wide open and full of tears. When I’d reach out to hold her or console her the screaming and crying got worse. It was as if she’d seen a monster and I was it. It was the most terrifying thing I’d ever experienced. As her mother, my first instinct was to try and soothe her, but everything I did just made it worse. Continue reading (The Mamí Chronicles) Night Terrors, Toddlers, & What you should know
This was so painfully beautiful to read. It is these stories, stories that are the hardest to tell, that have the most impact. Continue reading The Cycle: On the Ray Rices We Know
A while ago in a writing workshop I was asked what my origin story is. Initially I didn’t have an answer. After giving it some thought, I realized everything I witnessed as a child has influenced my writing. My desire to write comes from the things I wished my grandmother, my mother, even I would have said all those times we conceded to our husbands. I realized that I write so that I never lose my voice or power. I write so that my daughter does not repeat the cycle. Continue reading Traditional gender roles, marriage, and the reason I write
It’s a gray overcast morning in San Francisco. I sit at Gate 86 of SFO airport waiting to board UA Flight 358 to Las Vegas. I watch people pass by. One woman settles on a spot on the floor along the wall mumbling words that I cannot hear into her iPhone. Others jump on the electronic walkway carrying luggage, children, or both. Each headed to … Continue reading On writing: Why race matters
It has been two years since my daughter was born and every night while putting her to sleep I think about the person she will one day become. I think about the daunting task parents have in raising confident, kind, and productive members of society. I sit in her dark bedroom and also think about the challenges she will one day face and my heart … Continue reading The advice I wish someone would have given me as a kid
The worst thing parents and care takers can do to their children, in my opinion, is to feel sorry for them. As a Brooklyn born Puertoriqueña, I call it the curse of the “bendito”. In my family we have used the term bendito way too many times. From when little Johnny falls and scrapes his knee to when Doña Maria’s roof caves in from a tropical storm. The phrase is used in pretty much every situation to denote sympathy or frustration and while some things do garner sympathy the truth is that there will be many experiences we have no control over. We have to teach our children how to rise above their circumstances. Continue reading (The Mami Chronicles) On Parenting: How to raise confident kids
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