Main Chick, Side Chick, Jump-Off: What a tangled web we weave…


Today is Valentine’s Day and as a woman who has been with the same man for 12 years I have always had someone to spend this day with. However, as my twitter timeline has actively shown this weekend, there are many who are single, many who are involved with someone but don’t have the title of “boyfriend/girlfriend” yet and others who may just be the “other” person and are forced to spend this day alone. Yet and still there are the few that “think” they’re in a relationship with someone but in reality they are just the jump-off and don’t know it. If you fall into the latter category or if you’re the individual that is leading someone to believe they are your main one but really aren’t be careful. Playing with someone’s emotions is like playing with fire. Eventually you will get burned. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

When a woman is lied to, taken advantage of, abused, or played for a fool, the revenge she exalts can be brutal to say the least. Having multiple loves isn’t anything new and in fact men have been having multiple women since probably the beginning of time. Presidents, Celebrities, & Athletes, have indulged in the concept of the “side piece” for a very long time. We remember the biggest Hip Hop player of them all, the Notorious BIG. Biggie had a number of jump-offs and side pieces. The most notable being Lil Kim and Charlie Baltimore.

We remember Rocsi from 106 & Park who allegedly was getting it in with Lisa Raye’s man, the Prime Minister of Turks & Caicos, then it was Ms. Alicia Keys & Swizz Beats. And to take it back some there was JFK and Marilyn Monroe, Bill Clinton & Monica Lewinsky and most recently Tiger Woods & damn near every blond within a 5 mile radius. They all fell for the power of the P.U.S.S.Y. All of these men were married and appeared to live the ideal life but apparently there was something lacking in the main relationship that led them to seek it elsewhere. It seems like Fabulous said it best “The entree ain’t as good without something on the side.”

For men, I think it just all boils down to sex. They need it and want it. However, they don’t just want plain old sex. They want that dirty and nasty pornographic type of sex that they’re probably aren’t getting from wifey so they look for it in women who are willing to do the things they’re main chicks aren’t. (*Note to main chicks: be a sleazy whore behind closed doors but an effing lady in the streetz)

By nature men are visual and physical beings. While women are emotional. Men are usually motivated by physical attraction and fulfilling a sexual need and women are longing to make an emotional connection. When two people get involved that aren’t on the same page it can be a recipe for disaster. If you’re a man looking only to fulfill a sexual desire just be real about it. Not saying that you should approach a chick and say “I just want to smash” but make it clear that you aren’t looking for anything serious but just looking to have a good time. A smart woman will understand that. If she hooks up with you she at least knows from jump what it is and what it isn’t.

The one thing women hate the most is being lied to and being led into believing that they’re in a relationship when clearly they’re not. If she’s not into just smashing and turns you down just take it as an L and keep it moving. You’ll be better off in the long run believe me. You don’t want a psycho stalker chick on your hands. Dealing with a crazy b*tch isn’t worth it.

For example, we all remember Amy Fisher who gained notoriety after shooting the wife of her lover at point blank range. Then there was Lorena Bobbit who cut off her man’s penis. There was Sahel Kazemi who shot and killed NFL star Steve McNair. The list of crazy b*tches goes on and on. I don’t want you to be the next victim.

When it comes to love why do some women literally lose their mind? I don’t know the answer to that question but as a woman what I do know is that we don’t like to be played. Especially when it comes to our heart. I believe that most people, men & women alike, don’t like their feelings manipulated but yet it is a continuous cycle that never ends. Men and women play this game when it comes to love and its primarily due to selfish intentions.

Sometimes when two people get involved there is one person that cares more than the other one does. This is natural and it doesn’t matter if it’s just a jump-off situation. Sometimes you can’t control your feelings (again this usually happens to the woman). When this is the case the person that cares too much usually gets taken advantage of. The person that doesn’t care as much uses this to their benefit and exploits the former’s feelings.

They do this by telling that person what he or she wants to hear in order to get what they want. People say I love you with no real feeling or emotion behind it. Instead they sell hopes and dreams all in an effort to continue fulfilling their own selfish needs. It can be in the form of sex, money, material things, etc. However, when their charade is exposed all that remains is a hurt, angry, and crazy individual.

And when a person gives their all to only realize that the feelings weren’t reciprocated it can literally drive a person mad. No one likes to be taken for a fool. Love, while it can be great, can also end badly when you disregard the other individual’s feelings. When it comes to matters of the heart all I can suggest is to be honest about your feelings and intentions. In the long run you’ll be better off for it. And remember karma is a bitch so don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want done to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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