On Bill Cosby, Rape, and why some men just don’t get it

The other day as I was preparing dinner I asked my husband what he thought about the recent rape allegations that have resurfaced about Bill Cosby. His response was eerily similar to the responses I have heard come from other men.

“If these women were raped why are they talking about it now? Why did they wait so long to come forward?” he said.

“Is that really your response?”, I replied. “What if it was your daughter, who years after being raped or assaulted broke her silence and finally decided to talk about what happened to her, would you still have the same response? Does the length of time it takes a person to break their silence make their claims invalid?” He remained quiet. Continue reading On Bill Cosby, Rape, and why some men just don’t get it

The Power of the F.I.E.R.C.E Woman Brunch unites F.I.E.R.C.E Women Everywhere

This past Sunday, April 13, 2014 I held the first Power of the F.I.E.R.C.E Woman Brunch at Katarina’s Bar & Grill in Kew Gardens. From the moment I woke up that morning I knew that the day would be full of beautiful moments and energy. Mother nature, in all her F.I.E.R.C.E-ness cooperated. The weather was perfect. The sun was radiating, a reminder that when we … Continue reading The Power of the F.I.E.R.C.E Woman Brunch unites F.I.E.R.C.E Women Everywhere

Women’s History Month: Writing Our Way to the Revolution

I was surfing the internet the other day when I came across this blog that has quickly become a favorite. GenderAcrossBorders.com describes it’s mission as being an international feminist community where issues of gender, race, sexuality, and class are discussed and critically  examined. The article that intrigued me was examining women and how we have traditionally been left out of history and what we as women … Continue reading Women’s History Month: Writing Our Way to the Revolution

Abortion Rates for Latinos are 2nd Highest in NYC

New York Catholic Archbishop Timothy Dolan at a a press conference in New York on Jan. 6, 2011. (AP Photo/Chiaroscuro Foundation, Diane Bondareff) A recent study by the New York City Department of  Health  released statistics that 39% of pregnancies in the city end in abortion.  According to the report, in 2009 there were 225, 667 pregnancies in the City. Of those, 126,774 resulted in … Continue reading Abortion Rates for Latinos are 2nd Highest in NYC

Welcome to The Rape Capital of the World: The Victimization & Abuse of Women

While most of my posts are love and relationship driven, there are times when I come across a news article or some other current events issue that forces me to pay attention and speak up. I recently came across an article in The New York Times that highlighted a present day epidemic in the Democratic Republic of the Congo that literally had me sick to … Continue reading Welcome to The Rape Capital of the World: The Victimization & Abuse of Women

What Came First the A$$hole or the B!tch?

I think much can be said about relationships between men and women. Some women say that behind every bitch there’s an a-hole that made her that way and men argue that behind every a-hole there’s a bitch that made him that way. This argument is like trying to decide which came first, the chicken or the egg. In order to gain some understanding about the interactions between the opposite sex I think it’s important to look at how it all began.

Ever since the days of Adam and Eve when Eve coaxed Adam into eating the fruit of the forbidden tree it seems like women have had some sort of power over men. Eve was tricked by the serpent (obviously because we don’t listen and think we know it all) into taking a bite of the apple and she then convinces her husband into taking a bite. The Bible tells us that as a result of succumbing to the temptation, God banishes Adam and Eve from Eden, and they and their descendants are destined to live lives of hardship. God tells Adam that he will earn his bread only through hard labor and sweat while Eve is made subject to her husband and condemned to the pangs of childbearing. All of this, because neither Adam nor Eve listened to what they they were told.

Here we are, thousands of years later and it seems like much hasn’t changed between men and women. Or has it?? Women now-a-days boast of their newly acquired independence, they are now educated, and earning as much or more than their male counterparts. Women are taking care of themselves and their families and no longer play the role of damsel in distress waiting to be saved by Prince Charming. They are mothers, wives, business women, and president of the PTA. Others have taken control of their sexuality and have no problem with promiscuity, sleeping with a man on the first date, stripping, or any of the so-called things that used to be ta-bu in society. We have women leaking sex tapes just for 5 minutes of fame and celebrity. In today’s world nothing is off limits. Women have taken control of their lives and are loving it.

However, with this new found independence comes a new attitude, it’s what some may call bitchiness. Most women will argue that in order to get respect or to be treated equally by men they have to resort to being bitches. Playing the nice role no longer works when it comes to love. Women are tired of being taken for granted, not being appreciated, putting their all into a relationship to only get cheated on or disrespected. Women have now taken the reigns and are steering their own course in life and love. But what happens to the nice guy that comes across this type of no-holds barred woman? The type of woman that is tired of getting played so has now decided to start playing the game herself. Does the nice guy give his all to only get burned in the process? Is this the point that nice guys turn into assholes? All it takes is one heartbreak, that one relationship where you have committed to giving your all to only not get the same in return. This can go both ways because I honestly feel that no one starts out as a bitch or an asshole but only becomes one after that one bad heartbreak. We vow to never get hurt like that again and the only way to ensure that doesn’t happen is by becoming “the bitch” or “the asshole”.

They often say that nice guys finish last but I think the older one gets the less true that statement becomes. When you’re young you accept and deal with more b.s. than you would when you get older. For instance, men now-a-days feel like they don’t have to work at trying to impress a woman. They no longer believe in “courting” you. There is no longer dating, where they come to your house, pick you up, and open the car door for you. Instead, it’s more like meet me at this spot, we’ll hang out for a few, hook up afterward, and then you can find your own way home. They have this “I don’t care” type of attitude because women, with their new found independence, allow it. They see nothing wrong with this type of arrangement except that by allowing this type of treatment the man will never really respect you. I am all for female empowerment but you have to believe in your own self-worth before a man will believe in you. There’s nothing wrong with being independent and powerful and proud but don’t allow those things to change you so much that you jeapordize your reputation.

Women go out with the idea of who they’re going to hook up by the end of the night. They make it so easy for men that a man doesn’t even have to intitiate the first contact. Women are now as agressive as men used to be and often become the ones chasing after the man. But what happens to the nice girl? The girl that expects to be treated with respect and courtesy? Do these new independent bitches ruin it for them? I would say yes because men will automatically assume that all women are bitches and treat them all the same and in the process lose out on a potentially good woman.

In today’s day and age everyone is out to play the game but who really wins in the end? Ultimately, we’re just going to end up having a bunch of bitches and assholes and in that type of situation everybody loses.

Continue reading What Came First the A$$hole or the B!tch?