We often hear how we should have a great self esteem and have a healthy sense of self. Whether it’s being said by family or friends, I can totally agree. But, what happens when not only we think we are worth an abundance but the opposite sex seems to think so too? It would be nice to say that this is highly appreciated. But, I’ve come to realize, that this doesn’t necessarily work in our favor. We become being viewed as a “Hot Commodity.”

Being viewed this way can actually have the opposite effect than what we hope would be the result of being graced as such. Think about it!! You’re dating someone who is a “Hot Commodity”; meaning brains, personality, good pedigree, education, domesticity, good looks, whatever fits your wish list! Though completely into this person and excited to have someone of this stature involved with you, do you find yourself mistrusting them a bit or questioning their actions?

Unfortunately, I believe a lot of us do begin to examine, why a person in such high demand by anyone else is interested in us. I don’t think it’s because we have low self esteem, I just think it’s like anything else. If going for a great job that you know has high requirements, wouldn’t you be just as nervous? Even if you’re sure you fit the bill and can perform as well as anyone else.

The truth is that most of us have encountered situations where we have been in a rat race and lost. And, maybe it’s that twinge of doubt that tells us this person can’t be trusted or results in us having to question if we’re being toyed with. You start to scrutinize every detail until you realize you have lost out on something good due to your paranoia. You’ve lost out on something that could have been solid. Instead, you decided to doubt truth that was spoken to you and overanalyze situations that never even existed.

So you see? It’s great to be someone who is desired!! But, what price do we pay for it?

By Vanessa Quiles