The Gay Debate: Is It Really a Choice?

“Hello”, I say into the receiver as I answer my work phone.

“Look at my facebook page”, my sister replies back to me from the other end of the phone. “Why?”…”You’ll see”, she says.

I log into my facebook account and click on my sister’s page. I read her FB status:

‎”1 out of every 10 people are born gay. That means 1 out of every 10 people are instantly put down, given bad names, beat up, picked on and so much more–all for something they did not ask for. Many gay teens are killing themselves. HELP MAKE IT STOP!!! If you want to tell them life will get better and you respect them for who they are copy and paste this.”

“Interesting”, I say to her. “Now read the comments” she says. 

I proceed to the read the first comment and although I won’t print verbatim what it said, the gist of it was that no one is born gay. The person who wrote the comment says that it is a choice and that there is no scientic proof that says being gay is genetic.

I continued reading the comments on my sister’s page and it is basically an FB debate going on between this person and someone else (who actually is gay). He’s debating that he was born that way and she’s debating with him that he wasn’t. If I re-call this person compared his being gay to choosing what flavor ice-cream you like best (like preferring vanilla over chocolate).  I immediately wanted to put my two cents in but my sister forbade So I did the next best thing, I decided to blog about it. Thank goodness for the internet 🙂

Now that I’m here, what I really wanted to say to this individual who felt that it was appropriate to voice her opinion on someone else’s FB status who was only trying to show support for the gay community, was “you really need some basic etiquette lessons and a lesson on choices”.

Clearly the status is in support of all of the anti-gay violence and bullying that has recently resulted in so many teenagers committing suicide. Did she really think that it was appropriate to voice her  opinion on someone else’s status? Apparently so. But that just goes to show how socially unaware she is.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I may not agree with it but I respect it. However, one must know when it is appropriate to voice it and when it isn’t. I wanted to write that genetic studies have been done on sexuality. In response to the claim that there isn’t 100% proof that sexuality is genetic I say, that although there may not be any genetic proof, there also isn’t any proof that says otherwise and I think it’s only a matter of time before there is.

I’m no scientist but it doesn’t take a genius to know that I did not make any conscious decision to be heterosexual. I didn’t realize at age 5, 10, or 15 that I liked boys and not girls. It’s something that is ingrained in me. A feeling. It is not a preference and it definitely was not a choice. Choice conists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them. So deciding that I was going to be straight was not a choice.

If choosing sexuality was really a viable option why would gay individuals choose to be gay considering all of the hardships that come with that decision? They get bullied, ostracized, made fun of, neglected, they’re made to feel ashamed. Who in their right mind would choose that if they could choose to be straight?

I was infuriated when I read the comments on my sister’s FB page. Mostly because in my opinion, it’s just pure ignorance. It is these types of individuals who make it that much more difficult for the gay community. When will people realize that it isn’t a choice. It is a part of who we are just like the color of our skin, or the color of our eyes, or the type of hair we have. These are not things we choose. They are attributes and characteristics that we are born with.

I like men. Always have, always will and I’ll be damned if someone tells me that I can change that. I can’t. No matter how hard I tried I will never be attracted to women in a sexual way. Never. Yet, this is the exact thing anti-gay supporters would like us to believe. That somehow we can teach gays to like the opposite sex. Just thinking about it is absurd to me and if these people took the time to analyze their own thoughts they would realize it too.

Now that I’ve vented and released my pent up frustration, what do you all think? Is being gay something you can choose to be?

2 thoughts on “The Gay Debate: Is It Really a Choice?

  1. Nice job Nancy!!! well written. I woudl have fought more if not wantign to hurt di’s job collegaues.

    Ice Cream??? please. I wonder if she sampled both flavors?




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